Gym newbie
Daily life poems

Gym class zero: 4 tips for people who fear the gym.

Calling all people who hyperventilate when they see the equipment in a gym? Oh, just me 👀

Gym class zero 

Go. Hither with a drill. Go.

Making her way to a squeezed squat.

OK, stay put for 30 seconds.

Eek harder than it looks, right?

Next, legs outstretched on the mat, bang she kicks the stepper next to her.

She sucks, dwindling into the last person in gym class again.

The result is sticky, sweaty thighs and disheveled hair lurking above an enormous head.

Dear gym class heroes, remember the gym class zeroes.

Woes enter their minds as they see fit bodies climb around.

Some young. Some old. All lifting heavier.

Think of the zeroes. Yes, the ones who wonder, what does this machine do?

Why does she always fall?

Noodles for arms when they have titanium biceps.

Are they laughing when she bends down and fat rolls out?

Jump, the commander instructs. Stretch further – sorry sir, her leg’s in restitute now. 

Until one day, she wakes up and realizes everybody is laughing at themselves nobody is looking at her.

Why people quit the gym or end up no shows?

Mmm, there is no delicate way to put this. Some people like me are disoriented, born with two left feet.

No matter how hard we try, we bump into something and fall.

So, we are the prime suspects for advertisements to join gyms around the New Year, buying subscriptions, only to end up as no-shows.

Sometimes, all it takes is one awkward experience to keep you away from returning.

Unwanted gym advice

For instance, I remember once, simply going on a treadmill routine with my sister, when suddenly everyone shared opinions on how we should train.

See, advice is welcome when you ask for it. However, it is cumbersome when random people try to train you when all you want is to use the treadmill.

You feel self-conscious, especially if people make unsolicited comments and conversations.

Furthermore, sometimes body woes make us feel uncomfortable while exercising.

To illustrate, as a person with a rather large chest size at a 32 DD, exercises like running and jumping feel uncomfortable.

People stare, and clothes start flying in the wrong way.

Hence, this is where running and never returning to a fitness center comes in.

Quit gym

How to go back to the gym if you are a gym class zero?

What do I do with my chest? It flies up to me every time I try to jump or do a crunch.

Always in the way, trying to peck away at my fitness. Do I quit? No.

Instead, here are some things that help me feel more comfortable at the gym 👇🏼. P.s. I still fall and make people laugh, but I don’t mind.

1. Go shopping.

If you are uncomfortable with how your outfit looks and feels, this will reflect in your routine. Previously, my boobs were in the way because I wasn’t dressed in movement-friendly attire.

If you have a larger chest, buy a good sports bra that keeps everything in place. Your breast tissue will sincerely thank you. In return, you can jump, curl, and even go upside down.

I find the zip-up sports bras work best for cardio. This one is from Decathlon.

2. Join a group fitness class.

This only works if you hate gym equipment and get bored in your own company. More importantly, if you have no idea what you are doing.

Gym classes are an easy way to ease into the gym.

An instructor and class goers show you how equipment works, which is handy. When you get enough confidence, you can strike out on your own.

3. Get a workout- buddy.

If you are scared of joining the world of machines that beep at you and possibly fall when you touch it, I understand.

So, find yourself a gym partner to fight the self-induced toxic gym vibes with you.

4. Find the right gym for you.

Remember the gym experience I talked about above, with people getting in our business and someone hitting on us. 

Needless to say, we were uncomfortable and never returned.

Eventually, we found a gym with more women than men, which was more comfortable for us. Since you don’t feel weird with how you dress and people, don’t stare.

Likewise, if you are a guy interested in heavy lifting, a gym catered to pilates- and spin class might be ill-fitting for you also.

In light of the pandemic, gym cleanliness is crucial now. Also, a gym with fewer people makes me feel safer (from a social distancing perspective).

Conclusion: Returning to the gym after a long siesta.

In conclusion, as things like the gym reopen, I find myself having to readjust to seeing strangers as I move.

I got used to my solitary and personal workout routine. Whereby I controlled all the variables, mainly the people I walked with and the step count.

Everything in the gym feels like I am starting over again. My first group HIT class in a year and a half felt like a slap on all my functioning muscles.

Oh boy, since when was it this hard? I feel like I am relearning everything step by step.

Hence, this got me thinking about what if; the gym has others like me and the rules or conditions I would apply.

Return workout.

If I ran the gym world…

This thought is more of a wishful thinking list or gym utopia for me vs. realistic rules.

First, I would cancel snarky cliques. The ones who stand around laughing at others.

The gym class heroes would be the leaders of the zeroes. A role I know all too well. I’m a designated klutz that dropped a key in the vent, broke apart a stepper, and fell off a trampoline. P.S. This was all in one day.

Second, I would have people upfront to copy their gym moves. Preferably someone who looks like me, and another who looks fit so everyone can relate.

Many times you can’t see the fitness instructor, so looking at other people truly helps.

In the end, if you are scared, don’t be.

After meeting many people in the gym, surprisingly, the incredibly fit people are amicable and non-judgemental. They get happy when they see people getting fit.

So, don’t be intimidated and go.

Trust me- I wasted too much time thinking about what others thought when I bent over, only to realize nobody cares.

Are you a gym class hero or zero, like me?

Hit the reply button !