Beauty hoax
Daily life poems

Hoax beauty remedies. Hold up-they are tricking you.

Don’t follow these steps for clear skin (It’s a hoax).

Five steps to coax you into a hoax.

1: Trying to rub my blemishes aside. 

2: Turning to tea tree oil to smooth my skin and hide.

3: Rubbing garlic and tea on my skin for a smooth finale.

4: Rubbing toothpaste on a big fat zit.

5:  You still look the same and, so do I, for this, was all a hoax remedy.


Did you ever try hoax remedies online that worked?

I have to confess that this post is deeply inspired by my younger sister. More than inspired, it is actually her idea.

Usually, the older sister is the one to try these things first, but my tomboy phase growing up got in the way.

Hence, I bestowed the great honor of watching my sister try these remedies over and over again, to no avail.

There I was silently watching or sometimes loudly laughing in the background waiting for the big break, the one that never came.

sisters

A run-down of horrible, borrowed, advice

Firstly, let’s dive into some of the worst advice I heard.

  • Tee-tree oil made my sister’s eczema flare out in hives. Itching ensued resulting in a trip to an actual dermatologist, who told her to stay away from scented products.
  • Eating chicken to make boobs look more endowed.
  • Stop eating at 6 pm.
  • Wrap your breasts in lettuce and rub ice on them for a firm finish.
  • Honey on the face to brighten it up.
  • Vaseline as a moisturizer.  
  • Lemon juice on hair to lighten it in an attempt to transform into a blonde bombshell (thank god it did not work, given my tanned skin).
Tea tree oil is a hoax.

The list goes on and on. From rubbing garlic on yourself to fish oil promises the internet is filled with anything you can think of or want to erase.

At some point, I remember rubbing vinegar in my hair, using peanut butter as shaving cream, and even trying toothpaste in my hair.

For some reason, toothpaste is popular online, you can throw it on anything, and it will work. It is the A-list celebrity of hoax remedies.

How could I forget the lemon, to brighter spots on your skin? More like destroy and burn your skin with acid.

Needless to say, anything skin-related did not work for me. Why does all the advice I received draw on random household items, mostly kitchenware, to fix your issues?

Is garlic a hoax of hack?

Surprising hacks that do work

I’m a hypocrite. Ok fine, I also dabbled in internet advice.

The only hacks I tried that worked were:

  1. Adding cold water right after doing my nails. That way they dried quicker, this saved me so much time. However, this only works if you use one base of nail polish, any more and it will smudge into a mess.
  2. Brushing hair with your fingers vs. a brush after a shower. If I am going to hair dry my hair, I run my fingers through my hair instead of using a brush and it makes for a bouncy look.

Notice, how there are only two hacks that worked for me. Either I suck at following directions (which is also true) or the internet is infiltrated with know-it-all lies.

Hoax beauty

Honey and sugar as lip balm?

Furthermore, hoax remedies are a full-time job on the internet. Almost anybody you ask has tried something.

My beauty stories are boring, so, I had to enlist help from family members.

My younger cousin found this lip balm remedy and swears by it, insisting, it works. Cutely, she says it even tastes good.

Yay, a 2 in 1 offer, a snack, and a beauty hack.

Maybe I should try it. But I have an irrational fear of a bee following me around and then stinging me on the mouth.

I use my mouth to eat, which is the most important part of my day. Not worth the risk.

The only minuscule pest-infested problem with this trend is ants that infiltrated the jar. But I can’t hold that against it. Ants spy my cereal and fornicate in there too.

Don’t listen to me when it comes to beauty

Finally, did you notice how some people are more susceptible to online trends?

Some people are willing to try everything they see, whereas others are more cautious, scared that they will get poisoned.

Then, there is the third kind of person, the one that is too lazy to try (most of the time). I fall into the latter kind, which sort of works out in my favor.

I get to watch everyone around me be the experiments, then try what seems to work for them.

Also, I love people who make videos, saying, I tried this so you don’t have to. You make the path to self-improvement less hiccupy.

Yes, please keep trying and keep us posted.

beauty mask

Do you trust online beauty advice?

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