Hike needs coffee
Daily life poems

Preparing for a hike helped solve a family coffee feud

How I prepared for a hike. Hint: I’m unorganized

Is coffee breakfast?

Monday morning I wake up.

I smell coffee roasting I perk up.

Breakfast in bed, I jump out.

I go back to bed just to wake up again.

Wake up to the smell of coffee and the feel of sunshine.

I live for days like this.

The poem above: How my morning was supposed to go.


What’s hiking got to do with it?

See, it was my mom’s birthday yesterday. As usual, she convinced us to go on a hike.

My little sister started a family tradition where we make breakfast in bed on birthdays.

My mom woke up too early and missed the bed part of the breakfast. Still, she had breakfast.

In anticipation of the hike, she offered me some too. Like an idiot, I said, “No thanks I don’t need breakfast”.

Off to a 3-hour trail, I went. *Rolling my eyes at myself*.

Breakfast in bed
Photo by picjumbo.com on Pexels.com

Is coffee breakfast? My family feud

Families can fight about the dumbest things. One second you are peacefully having lunch.

The next second, you are arguing about coffee. Nothing irks my brother more than me having coffee for breakfast. To him, it is inconceivable.

Mornings are made for breakfast. I trigger his venom by mentioning coffee as breakfast. No, it is not a meal, he insists.

I beg to differ. At breakfast, it always fills me up and eases my headache like magic. On days I have coffee in bed, it feels like a present.

Coffee is my companion in the morning. Unashamedly, I have coffee in the afternoon just to feel alive.

Before sleeping, it also works like a warm hand tucking me into bed.

Are you team breakfast or no?

In the morning, I find it hard to stomach food. My stomach cramps up into many knots, looking for coffee.

The smell of food renders me ill and activates my gag reflex.

You’re probably confused now. I don’t blame you.

What does waking up to coffee and breakfast in bed have to do with hiking? 👇🏼.

Coffee

Hiking fail: Never hike without breakfast

Upon arriving at the campsite, I realized I made a big mistake. My stomach already started making grumbling noises.

The awfully loud ones that sound like farts.

Originally, we were supposed to hike for one hour only. Ok, I thought. If I eat in the morning, I will feel like throwing up.

To my shock, we ended up going to a neighboring trail at Shouf Cedar Reserve (also longer).

Randomly deciding to go on a 3-hour hike.

Mountain top

Help I’m burning

Did I forget to mention it was 30 degrees outside? The sun was glaring at us in a not-so-friendly way.

By the end of the hike, my chest was a discolored red, white, and brown mess.

Uneven tan lines zig-zagging across my chest. My arms red like tomatoes or a suckling pig. You decide.

The universe decided to use me as its canvas. I am more than happy to oblige.

What my skin really looks like
Wear your sunscreen even if you have tanned skin 🥺

Between burning and hunger

The first hour was the roughest. My migraine was throbbing- and my stomach was screaming at me, begging me to feed it.

I did my best to ignore it. The more I distracted myself with other things. The more snarky my stomach got.

Insisting on speaking up and annoying me. After today, I will never neglect it.

If you asked me a week ago, I would have said with full confidence and a smirk, that coffee is breakfast. My favorite breakfast.

Distracting myself by getting hit by snowballs on the hike.

Why coffee is not breakfast

If you spend a long time exerting too much energy, coffee will not protect you.

Energy. Calories. That is what you need. Or more accurately what I need.

A healthy dose of sugar, popcorn, and a protein cookie bar was all I was thinking of.

Some people survived being lost in the Maui forest for 16 days. Yet, going 3 hours(ish) on a trail, with no breakfast was doing me so much annoyance.

How weak am I? I need to up my game.

Cedar trees
Still, the view was worth it

Still, after today I will always eat breakfast. It was not fun to hear my stomach fight with me.

Maybe you do get lost on a trail or any adventure. Food is always a good idea to have as a reserve.

Hiking trails near me

First and foremost, look for hiking trails near you. Thank you Google recommendations 😊.

Pick trails that already have marked spots along the path. Search where you are going.

Be prepared for things like going to the toilet, eating, the weather, and what to wear.

Being cooped up at home like a chicken is just unnatural.

The lack of sunlight affected me. I have never been so influenced by the sun. Especially since I am naturally tanned.

Just staying at home for so long seems to have changed my skin tone to a pasty, discolored, pale one.

Or I’m getting old.

Yes, I understand people who prepare a lot now.

I cheated a bit in the thumbnail picture. I put a picture where I was tanned because I look horrible now.

Shouf Cedar Nature Reserve

In Lebanon, there are many hiking paths available.

Since COVID exists- if you want to go without a group or guide, you need to pick a place that has a clear path.

So, you don’t get lost, and possibly go missing. For example, the hiking trail in Shouf Cedar Nature Reserve is pretty empty.

There are not as many people as at the neighboring campsites.

There are clear arrows along the way and signs, telling you where the mountain top is and the entrance.

Where to hike.
Pick location B at the Shouf Cedars Reserve for a less crowded zone

More importantly, there are two paths available. One is in between the trees, almost like staircases made from mud.

The second is a standard road with rocks. Pick the one that you like more.

Stairs on hike trail.

Key lessons I learned from the hike:

  • Wear sunscreen. Seriously, I cannot emphasize this enough. Today, my whole body is aching from sunburn. I am shivering, and my hand is quaking as I write this.  
  • Wear pants and a shirt that covers your chest. You’d think you’d want to wear less so that you’re not hot or dehydrated. Wrong. If the sun is extremely strong it will hit you. Not in a kinky way.
    • Besides getting a funny tan line, insects and bugs will stay attacking your skin. Find cute hiking outfits that protect your body from bugs.
Wear pants to hike
Photo by Sebastian Voortman on Pexels.com
  • Eat before coming. Pee also. I know, a 5-year-old would know to avoid crankiness and eat first. Except, I thought the hike would only be an hour. Still, dumb of me.
    • We have to prepare for everything. It is not fun when you are dehydrated with no water. And an engrossed bladder keeps poking your belly, urging you to urinate.

My ‘hangry’ phase finally ended

After an icky and sweaty hike in the sun, all I could think of was a shower. Yet, hunger insisted on winning. Rightfully so.

Looking like a hot mess. Red stained my cheeks and neck. My hair was disarrayed in a messy bun.

I went to a restaurant probably smelling like a high school locker room. Ew.

The clock struck 5 pm, and the food gods finally blessed me with an indulgent meal.

I massacred a whole pizza on my own, and a crème brûlée. It’s funny how food always tastes better when you’re extremely hungry.

Creme brulee after a hike

In conclusion, the bickering was fun while it lasted. I hereby declare I was wrong about coffee being breakfast.

I guess I have to end this ongoing family feud.

Don’t you hate how you’re always wrong and fact-checked?

These days I seem to always be messing up and failing. So much so, that I wrote a poem about failing a couple of days ago.

Do you also get into funny fights over the pettiest things with family members?

One Comment

Hit the reply button !