Finding the ugly
Daily life poems

Stop being an actor in your life- Finding the ugly

Ugly, Uglier, ugliest. It’s not so bad when you say the words out loud. They are only adjectives.

In the pursuit of Ugliness:

Pretty, some say I am.

They are likely lying.

What has โ€œprettinessโ€ got me?

*Except bruises on my thighs, fondlers, and stalkers*

I am an actress in my own life.

See, I pretended to be pretty.

But, I am not.

I pretended to love you.

But, I did not.

I pretended to laugh when your stupidity was offensive.

I laughed. And laughed. Until your stupidity reincarnated inside a body that resembled

MINE.

Not anymore.

I choose ugly.

Face covered
Peek-a-boo

In a world of beauty, I choose to be ugly ๐Ÿ‘€

Stop being an actor or actress in your own life. Every morning you wake up. You choose a hairstyle to represent you for the day.

Hair up or down? When my hair is up, I am friendly, fun, youthful.

On days where my hair is down, I am carefree. Without realizing it we choose how the world sees us.

Some care more than others. Pink glossy nails. A flowery dress and an Emporio Armani, flowery scent. That is my go-to.

Flower dress
It is embarrassing the number of times I re-wore this same blue and white, flow(y) dress. But it makes me feel so light and airy.

At what point did I start acting? The phony peeked in when I started tucking in my shirt ๐Ÿ‘š. Since when do I do that?

I always found it stuffy and funny-looking. Every stroke and hairdo taking me further away from me.

What I mean by ugly

Ugly, like everything else in this world is subjective. Humans, we tend to gravitate towards the pretty. They are nice to look at.

Why wouldn’t we want to see beauty? Sneak a peek. Not me, though.

I always got attracted to the weird, the missing. To me, that is beautiful.

Pretty or ugly? Genetics helps make that decision. Cosmetic surgery can sometimes change the fate of nature.

Using lip filler to avoid looking ugly

Unfortunately, life is split between the pretty and the ugly. My interpretation of ugly in today’s society is private, low-key, hidden, in the shadows.

That is where I always yearned to be. Ever since I was 12 years old. There is safety in the dark.

The anonymity of it all. My favorite conversations are the ones where we cannot see faces.

Man covering eyes
Photo by Anete Lusina on Pexels.com

Turn around. That voice you hear from behind, that entices a shiver up your spine. Or a giggle.

That is what I like to feel. The presence of a human before they show up. That is beautiful to me.

Face it: by someone’s standard, anybody can be found ugly, including you. And me.

Nobody is immune to an ugly Instagram picture. No, we do not need a hack. Again, ugly is a perception.

So, it is amazing to me, when someone who finds us physically unattractive, thinks we are amazing, funny, great.

That means so much more.

young woman turning face away
Photo by Anete Lusina on Pexels.com

Why ugly is winning: What does this button do?

The stereotypically ugly makes you rethink things. Harshly tapping you on your shoulder, reminding you that there is more to life.

More than an empty broken shell. 

Character. Personality. Humor. These elements make me smile and shake my head just thinking of them.

In my experience, it is the seemingly superior who lie. After waiting, you can finally touch them.

Except, you exhale a sigh of disappointment.

Empty shell, ugly on the the inside
Photo by Anthony on Pexels.com

Conclusion: Anybody can be repulsive

See, anybody can be pretty. Likewise, anybody can be ugly.

To some, the ugly are people who give gut-wrenchingly bad first impressions.

Those who make your nose scrunch up and turn 360 degrees when you meet them are honest.

I don’t trust people who are too shiny at first. Too perfect. I was one of them.

We all have ugly inside us whether we acknowledge it or not.

Bad first impression
Photo by cottonbro on Pexels.com

If we didn’t shower for a month, uh-oh, we would smell gross.

No matter how pretty our faces are people would recoil from us, picking the chair furthest from us to sit on.

That is reality. People who have access to water, tend to shower, be clean, and smell seductive.

We put our perfumes on to impress ourselves and others. Our clothes represent our care for ourselves.

Grooming yourself to fit the pretty box can lead to many ugly lessons. Mainly, people try to pinch your butt or touch you, when you do not want them to.

Nowadays, I acknowledge and embrace my ugly. Don’t worry, I will still shower. Do my hair even.

Yet, it is humbling to turn people away. Trying to un-impress them.

I need to find the ugly in me (personality-wise), acknowledge it, and move on. Look for the ugly.

Find it within yourself. Find it in others and discuss it, to help understand all the world. Not just the pretty parts.

We need to look and see everything not only the bits and pieces we like. The ones we find sexy, cute, and smell like flowers. *Insert any alluring adjective you want ——-*

Faces covered
Photo by cottonbro on Pexels.com

That is when you will find YOURself.

Stop wasting time

Oops, I think I talk about my feelings too much. Maybe, I am too obsessed with myself.

I even wrote a piece about my relationship with the mirror. If I focused less on how I looked, imagine how much more free time I would have.

Starting today, I am going to try to obsess less about superficial things. How about you? Do you waste time on the mirror too?

Bye

Hunting for the ugly. Did you find it yet?

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