Ignore peer pressure: Be unproblematic, no more fighting
Birds chirping in my ears
Trying to tell me how to feel
What a glamorous day to be me
What a glorious day to be you
What a fun night to throw your shoes off, shake your hair, and dance
What a great time to be alive
Is loyalty above all?
Ride or die. As a youngling, I took the saying way too seriously. Do we really have to die?
Eventually, yes. But, now? No, thank you.
Previously, I was the type of person to sneak a person out of trouble, no matter what they did.
Every friend’s fight, I took on as my own. Every problem or emotion, I felt too strong.
If someone got hurt, I also got hurt on their behalf. Their sadness still makes my skin crawl, spurring me into action.
Raised to be loyal. Is there a limit or end-site? There was a time in my life I would have responded, no.
Right this second, I am unsure. When loyalty starts costing you your character, that is when you need to strike a pause.
Your problem is my problem. Not anymore.
When I truly love someone – he or she, being sad stirs up my emotions and protective instinct.
I fight their battles on their behalf -with people I genuinely don’t have a problem with.
Only for them to speak to the people who wronged them again.
Then, I end up looking like a monster. I learned to let people fight their own battles – within reason.
Their problem is no longer my own. Unless they ask for help. But to feel disdain on behalf of someone else is unhealthy and taking friendship too far.
See, each person has a right to pick their relationship style.
They are choosing these people in their lives for a reason. Cherry-picked to fund a purpose.
Sometimes, people speak to people who make them feel bad to keep up appearances. Or to keep a competitive edge.
It is not my place to judge or intervene. Except in cases of abuse. That is where I draw the line and believe nobody has a choice.
If anything, their brain is being manipulated into thinking they deserve less.
I am talking about the more superficial, less serious issues. Dirty laundry. Messiness. Gossip.
Notably, I refuse to take part in any of that anymore. Maybe I am growing. But I respect my time and space more now.
Negative feelings and emotions like extreme jealousy and hatred are simply not welcome in my bubble.
Don’t let them turn you into a monster
Why fight on their behalf? If they have a problem, they can address it.
People who keep nagging at you and complaining, knowing, you will react are the worst kind of people.
It is manipulative. They want people to do the speaking and dirty business for them. Not anymore.
Instead, my efforts will be for the people who are oppressed, don’t have a voice, the abused, the neglected.
People who have a voice, but choose to be silent. People who choose for you to be their monster, while they sit idly smiling. That is who WE should ignore.
In all honesty, I have only hated one person in this world. He wronged me in unbelievable ways.
Everyone else, I find just human. I never met someone who I thought was irredeemable, without good qualities.
Joking with anyone can soften them up like jelly.
Laughing is my favorite sound in the entire world.
Yet, I screamed at people on behalf of other people. Although, at times, I found them innocent. However, I side with a friend even if they are wrong.
Unless they harassed someone. That is what loyalty taught me.
To be honest, I still would NOT side against a friend. However, I am done fighting on another person’s behalf.
Last year, I noticed the only fights I got into were to defend others. If I do not have a problem with people, why should I engage in anger?
Picking me, choosing me 🌸
Is it selfish? Maybe. I don’t care. My time has never been mine.
If anyone ever asked for my help, no matter what I had going on, I helped.
Honestly, that is a hard habit to break. I don’t think I want to change it.
That’s just me. People will always be more important than goals and deadlines.
I don’t do that because I am nice, but because helping makes me feel at ease.
A nagging voice keeps screeching, ‘help’. Or a little child poking my shoulder every 5 seconds, is what I feel if I don’t listen to the pleas.
Meh, I know I am not altruistic nor am I trying to be. However, fighting, screaming, bickering. That makes me feel gross.
Notice, every time I scream at someone, my voice shakes and cracks, and my whole body starts shaking. Especially, my hands.
I hate that feeling. Losing control. Transforming.
But not into a hero like the HULK. Instead, into a villain like Medusa.
Conclusion…Ignoring the noise
Finally, I remember every sentence I said in anger. Every hurtful word, every scowl, and every ugly vibration.
That is not who I choose to be. I will not waste my time on anger anymore.
Nope, I will not waste the limited time I have on this Earth on gossiping or fighting.
Certainly, life will give me a healthy dose of problems.
Unfair situations will make me want to punch myself in the face. Question humanity. Question my creator.
I am saving my anger for the real issues. I choose to be unproblematic until life gives me an unsolvable problem.
No more fighting for me, except the internal kind.
For now, I will focus on solving the problems I can. The little ones I have control of.
I am not egotistical enough to think I can change the world.
But I can change my world. Starting by accepting the things I cannot change, and fixing what I can.
You can change your world too.
I choose the calm and cozy ❤️